You are doing god’s work.
Yes, I can recall the moment clear as day. I should have seen it coming when I opened the package and saw the label “DOOM” printed on a red cartridge—that’s right, RED! I knew it had to be a communist conspiracy, and had to undergo proper investigation. We had no machine in the base to process this commie message, but I was told the BLU base was in possession of one. Of course! They had to have been the ones who sent it. Those sneaky snakes in the grass, calling themselves BLU to disguise their communist underbelly!
I infiltrated the BLU base and popped the cartridge into their machine. The word “DOOM” flashed across the television screen, with the picture of a man in a mask wielding two guns (in a RED background!) and I immediately reloaded my shotgun in preparation. I saw something out of the corner of my eye, and shot it repeatedly! I then looked at the screen to see there was BLOOD! Blood, covering the entire screen! Now, I’m no believer in the supernatural, but I knew what I saw, and it was commie fluids leaking all over, sending a clear warning to me that—oh, that’s right, a BLU Sniper’s corpse was slumped over the television set.
Pen entered his boss Siro’s office, carrying sizable stack of papers in his arms. He dropped them atop Siro’s desk.
"Alright, fucko, let’s hear your report," said Siro, lighting a cigar.
Pen straightened his tie, pulled up a chair and sat down, hands folded in front of him. “Spongebob had sexual relations, the Amanda Show was alright, and Goofy is a dog.”
- The End -
What if Pauling was as inexperienced at sex as Scout, and their first attempts were a mess? It’d be hot if one of the older, more experienced mercs lended them a hand in the bedroom. So to speak.
I actually have a fic of this outlined in my head where the Administrator and the mercs give earpieces to Pauling and Scout so they can give them tips over it while they’re going at it, and because the both of them are getting all these different orders and neither has a clue that the other is using the same earpiece plan, it all turns into this glorious mess.
Would like to try my hand at writing Spy helping them out too, though. Maybe as a sequel to the above.
okay heres the thing i think when he said it i think he meant start an international drug cartel, because, as we all know, chicken in latin means food of the damned, and as well all know the damned originally referred to a group of titan-like deities who formed species of plants with their breath, and their favorite plants were marajuana, tobacco, and the now-extinct meth-tree.
Why is it extinct, you ask?
Because in 1833, the french branch of the Illuminati destroyed it, fearing its power. And who was scout talking to when he mentioned the chicken tramp?
That’s right, spy. And what’s the connection between the french branch of the Illuminati and spy you may ask? They both had ancestors present during the final days of the Roman republic. And as we all know, the roman republic’s main export was, meth.
Thus it is logical to assume that the chicken tramp was in fact an undercover member of the remnants of the french branch of the illuminati, who have obviously had a change of heart and now wish to bring back the meth tree. What’s the correlation between chicken and meth, you may ask?
Breaking bad. As we all know, in the critically acclaimed series, Gustavo Fring transported his meth within the trucks carrying the food for his food chain that specialized in chicken based food products. Thus it is logical to establish that scout and the chicken tramp are actually secretly interested in transporting drug cargo by starting it, where it is an international drug cartel.
i am fucking blown away
They can see your body temperature.
They won’t be satisfied until it matches theirs.
"Scout, if you are the fastest runner, why are you always late to class?"
Scout shook his leg incessantly at his desk, chewing furiously at his pencil’s eraser. He didn’t listen to a single word as his teacher droned on with the lecture—he never did, but this time it wasn’t out of the usual boredom that clouded his mind. No, this guy had struck a nerve that wasn’t about to cease its throbbing. And with it, the teacher’s words echoed in his head.
- soulmates au
- childhood best friends au
- teacher/student au
- teacher/single parent au
- one night stand and falling pregnant au
- meeting at a coffee shop au
- fake relationship au
- roommates au
- meeting online au
- high school popular kid/nerd au
- partners in crime au
- writer and editor au
- co-stars au
- lab partners au
- meeting in the E.R/A&E au
- brand new neighbours au
- meeting at a party whilst drunk au
- waking up with amnesia au
- parents meeting when they take their kids to class au
- dysfunctional relationship au
- best friends sibling au
- two miserable people meeting at a wedding au
- meeting on a train ride au
- literally bumping into each other au
- librarian/avid reader au
- sitting on the same park bench au
- meeting at a support group au
- knocking on the wrong door au
- going away to war au
- tourist/knowledgeable local au
- prostitute/client au
- doctor/companion au
- celebrity/fan au
- meeting at a masquerade ball au
- one of them trying to get the other one off of drugs au
- living in a society where their love is taboo au
- meeting in prison au
- cop/person getting a speeding ticket au
- long distance relationship au
- exes meeting again after not speaking for years au
- ghost/living person au
- star-crossed lovers au
- falling in love with their best friend’s partner au
- one of them being diagnosed with a terminal illness au
- pretending to hate each other au
- nanny/single parent au
- meeting at a festival au
- meeting again at a high school reunion au
- boss/intern au
- going through a divorce au
Also, going through my photos, I was taken aback by this one. I remember distinctly taking this shot of the fireplace RIGHT at this angle. There wasn’t anyone there in that spot when I took it. It’s really freaking me out, this kid with a nineties haircut just shows up in one of my photos, and I have no idea what caused it.
Now, I’m a hardcore skeptic, I don’t believe in the paranormal or the like, but I asked the tenant if any Ouija board shit went down with the previous resident and yeah it’s just a picture of me.
Photos of the apartment in San Ramon I’m likely going to be moving into at the end of the year. In all my three years of living in the first-floor apartment in Monterey, I’ve missed the privacy and treehouse-vibe living in past upper-floor apartments provided me with, so this place, even without its furnishings, is already looking a lot more like home.
It’s also within walking distance of a used bookstore, a movie theater, a boxing gym, a Safeway, a Gamestop, and various restaurants! Good deal!
my desktop makes every movie-viewing experience an adventure (credit goes to sfm-daesdemona)
Then I remember “Wait a minute if I just watch the Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons and don’t play the games I can still call myself a Sonic fan and no one would doubt it with that reasoning, why can’t the same be said for TF2” so if I’m interrogated by someone with the question “You like TF2? What class do you play?” I’ll just answer back “Well I haven’t played TF2 but I’m a big fan of the animations and comics and supplementary material, it’s kind of like being a Sonic the Hedgehog fan” with my greatest poker face while they stare back in confusion
Have you went for the gmod videos already?
Oh yeah. Those things were my lifeblood before I really got into TF2.